Some exciting changes have happened since I last posted. First of all, I’m writing and posting this from the comfort of my house. How is that possible??
Well, first, the town generator that worked for the first three weeks I was here started working again at the end of June, and I finally got my house hooked up to it at the beginning of August. Why did it take so long? Various reasons, the most amusing of which is that the electricians went to jail for stealing gasoline. So I’ve been hooked up to the generator for a few weeks now, and life has great! I have electricity from 6-10 at night, so I can easily plan lessons, read, play games, etc after dark, and I can also charge my phone, computer, and iPod at will.
So that’s how I’m writing this from the comfort of my house, but how am I posting this? Last weekend I bought an internet flash drive that I can use to get internet via the cell phone antennae. Now the cell phone reception comes and goes, but when there’s good reception I can check my mail, post photos (which I plan to do within a few days) and whatnot.
I also would like to comment, with regards to “The story of the Rat and the Foreigner,” that I have had only 4 rats in my house during the 8+ months I’ve lived here. I don’t want my sister to be afraid and decide not to visit me next year. The story itself is, unfortunately for me, 100% true; it really happened, but it only happened once, and it’s not an experience that my dear Emily is likely to have when (not if) she comes. If my parents were to come the rat would be the least of their worries; for my dad (the Wise Father) because he would be worried about so many other things, and for my mom because she would be practical after reading this and bring rat traps. (Rat traps, which I was silly enough to decline in a care package after several ratless months.)
Other exciting news—I’ve started dating another teacher who works at my school. His name is Sambo (pronounced Sahm-bu), and he teaches something called design, which seems kind of like drafting/geometry/architecture, kind of like scientific, measured art. He is also one of the stars of Nacaroa’s soccer team. Like my guard, he doesn’t exactly understand my fear of rats; his house was full of them, until a few weeks ago when I convinced his to get rat poison, and he killed 10 rats in 2 days. He does, however, understand about 50% of my sarcasm, which is way more than anyone else here. Sarcasm just isn’t used here, which is very sad for me, and my futile attempts have often led people to think that I misunderstood various conversations.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
The story of the Rat and the Foreigner
The story of the Rat and the Foreigner
(Author's note: for best results, picture the events of this story while reading.)
Several months ago a Foreigner came from the Developed World to live in the Developing World. The Foreigner quickly learned to love most things about her new life, but one thing she could not love was Rats. The Local People were confused by the Foreigner’s fear and dislike of Rats; they had long since learned to live in harmony with these small, harmless creatures. Almost all of the Locals had Rats in their houses on a somewhat regular basis, and some enjoying eating them roasted on sticks like shish-ka-bobs.
Sometime, not too long ago, one particular Rat managed to enter into the house of the Foreigner. The Foreigner awoke early one morning, when it was still dark outside, because of unusual noises coming from the shelf in her room. She switched on her flashlight in time to see the shadow of a Rat run out of her room, into the spare bedroom. She quickly shut the door of said bedroom, and summoned her Guard.
Now the Guard was a very nice person and a reliable and trustworthy guard; however, he was a Local. He did not understand the Foreigner’s strange and inexplicable fear of these small, harmless creatures, and thus was often less than persistent in finding and killing them in the Foreigner’s house. His most common response, after minimal searching, was often, “Já fugiu,” meaning, “He got away.” On this particular day, the Guard’s response was no different. The Foreigner tried to convince the Guard to continue searching, but it was of no use; she had no choice but to move on with her day and wait until the Rat appeared again.
That evening when the Foreigner was cooking dinner, the Rat appeared again. She summoned her Guard. The Rat was in the main room when the Guard entered, but with the commotion of movement and shouting he fled to the kitchen. Now what would usually happen in this situation is that the Guard would enter the kitchen with a stick, the Foreigner would stay outside of the kitchen holding the door shut, and the Guard would kill the rat. But on this particular day, the Foreigner inexplicably found herself inside the kitchen with the Rat and the Guard. Even more inexplicably, the foreigner had subconsciously selected a flimsy, orange, plastic dustpan as her weapon of choice.
All trapped in the kitchen, it’s hard to say if the Rat or the Foreigner was more scared. The Rat ran around frantically trying to escape, while the Foreigner performed a series of awkward jumps, trying to avoid allowing the rat to get too close to her feet. These jumps were accompanied by yelps and shrieks of fear, along with swats and flicks of the dustpan. The Guard tried to tell the Foreigner to calm down, but it was of no use. The Foreigner eventually ended up jumping into the door, which opened ever so slightly, allowing the Rat to escape back to the main room. The Foreigner and Guard followed and searched briefly, but the Guard soon announced, “Já fugiu.”
The Foreigner did not sleep well that night, and to her disappointment the Rat did not appear the following evening, leaving her with another night of ratmares. Finally, on the third night, the Foreigner remembered the words of her Wise Father, “Could he be hiding under the stove?” a question he has posed several months prior with the entrance of the First Rat. The foreigner grabbed her flashlight, went to the kitchen, and hesitantly looked under the stove. The Rat was there! She quickly summoned her Guard, making sure to stay outside the kitchen this time, and held the door tightly shut as he entered with a stick. This time the Rat did not get away. The Guard killed it, picked it up by the tail, and removed it from the Foreigner’s house. The Foreigner lived happily ever after, at least until the entrance of the Next Rat.
(Author's note: for best results, picture the events of this story while reading.)
Several months ago a Foreigner came from the Developed World to live in the Developing World. The Foreigner quickly learned to love most things about her new life, but one thing she could not love was Rats. The Local People were confused by the Foreigner’s fear and dislike of Rats; they had long since learned to live in harmony with these small, harmless creatures. Almost all of the Locals had Rats in their houses on a somewhat regular basis, and some enjoying eating them roasted on sticks like shish-ka-bobs.
Sometime, not too long ago, one particular Rat managed to enter into the house of the Foreigner. The Foreigner awoke early one morning, when it was still dark outside, because of unusual noises coming from the shelf in her room. She switched on her flashlight in time to see the shadow of a Rat run out of her room, into the spare bedroom. She quickly shut the door of said bedroom, and summoned her Guard.
Now the Guard was a very nice person and a reliable and trustworthy guard; however, he was a Local. He did not understand the Foreigner’s strange and inexplicable fear of these small, harmless creatures, and thus was often less than persistent in finding and killing them in the Foreigner’s house. His most common response, after minimal searching, was often, “Já fugiu,” meaning, “He got away.” On this particular day, the Guard’s response was no different. The Foreigner tried to convince the Guard to continue searching, but it was of no use; she had no choice but to move on with her day and wait until the Rat appeared again.
That evening when the Foreigner was cooking dinner, the Rat appeared again. She summoned her Guard. The Rat was in the main room when the Guard entered, but with the commotion of movement and shouting he fled to the kitchen. Now what would usually happen in this situation is that the Guard would enter the kitchen with a stick, the Foreigner would stay outside of the kitchen holding the door shut, and the Guard would kill the rat. But on this particular day, the Foreigner inexplicably found herself inside the kitchen with the Rat and the Guard. Even more inexplicably, the foreigner had subconsciously selected a flimsy, orange, plastic dustpan as her weapon of choice.
All trapped in the kitchen, it’s hard to say if the Rat or the Foreigner was more scared. The Rat ran around frantically trying to escape, while the Foreigner performed a series of awkward jumps, trying to avoid allowing the rat to get too close to her feet. These jumps were accompanied by yelps and shrieks of fear, along with swats and flicks of the dustpan. The Guard tried to tell the Foreigner to calm down, but it was of no use. The Foreigner eventually ended up jumping into the door, which opened ever so slightly, allowing the Rat to escape back to the main room. The Foreigner and Guard followed and searched briefly, but the Guard soon announced, “Já fugiu.”
The Foreigner did not sleep well that night, and to her disappointment the Rat did not appear the following evening, leaving her with another night of ratmares. Finally, on the third night, the Foreigner remembered the words of her Wise Father, “Could he be hiding under the stove?” a question he has posed several months prior with the entrance of the First Rat. The foreigner grabbed her flashlight, went to the kitchen, and hesitantly looked under the stove. The Rat was there! She quickly summoned her Guard, making sure to stay outside the kitchen this time, and held the door tightly shut as he entered with a stick. This time the Rat did not get away. The Guard killed it, picked it up by the tail, and removed it from the Foreigner’s house. The Foreigner lived happily ever after, at least until the entrance of the Next Rat.
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