Football and Witchcraft

Last year there was one main football team in Nacaroa that played against teams from other districts. At the end of the year the man who sponsored the team got angry and took away their equipment and uniforms. At the beginning of this year he decided that he wanted to sponsor them again. Most of the players said they didn’t want to play for him anymore, and formed the Workers Football Club. They contribute money each month to pay for equipment, uniforms, and traveling costs. Some players went back to play for this man, and he recruited some other people to form a team called the Mambas. The Mambas charge people to watch their games, which was previously unheard of here. They make a big to-do at the beginning of their games by driving the players on to the field in a truck.

Needless to say, the Workers and the Mambas are rivals, and this rivalry has created a lot drama in Nacaroa. One Mamba who was renting a house from a Worker was kicked out. Another Mamba who works for the Worker coach was told that if he wanted to keep his job he couldn’t be a Mamba. A Mamba stole a Worker’s cleat so he wouldn’t be able to practice. The Mamba’s sponsor threatened various Workers when they formed their new team, saying that he was a very important man in Nacaroa and that they didn’t want to be on his bad side. And so on and so forth. The two teams did various things to sabotage the other.

But sabotage in Africa includes an element that doesn’t exist in the US: witchcraft. When the Mamba’s got in a small car accident on the way to a game, it was because the Workers went to the witch doctor to put a curse on them. When the Mamba’s goalie had stomach aches and let in an easy goal, it was because the Workers put a curse on him to make them lose. Luckily, there are ways to protect yourself against such curses. Because of this, the witch doctor has become an important element for both teams, even traveling with the Mambas to away games to provide the necessary protection. Ironically, since the two teams that exist this year are composed of players that all played together for the same team last year, they both use the same witch doctor. Talk about a conflict of interests and violating the Hippocratic Oath.

The witch doctor has many ways to protect the team. First, he may instruct the players whether they should or should not have sex the day before/day of the game. Second, he may instruct the players about certain foods they should or should not eat the day before/day of the game. Third, he participates in a pre-game ritual with the players that may include painting the feet with charcoal, washing the head with water prepared a certain way, putting a paste of various herbs on the heart, or various other rituals that will protect the players. And fourth, he inspects the field and the goals to make sure the other team (either from Nacaroa or the opposing district) hasn’t put any sort of cursed object.

If you disobey the instructions of the witch doctor, your ancestors will punish you. When the Mamba’s goalie let in that easy goal, they were quick to accuse the Workers of having cursed him. But a few trips to the witch doctor and a small investigation revealed that he had taken a bite from the forbidden apple, and had stomach aches because his ancestors were punishing him for not obeying the witch doctor’s dietary guidelines.

On a final note, unrelated to football, but continuing with witchcraft, there has been a huge problem lately with people bewitching animals to go steal things from their neighbors. For example, you can take your cat to the witch doctor who will give it powers to be able to go into your neighbor’s house and swallow all their money. Then it will come home and spit out the money for you. In fact, just yesterday, this happened. Two neighbors sent their bewitched cats to go steal from the neighboring house at the same time. The cats each went into the other house and stole money. But on their way back to their owner’s houses they ran into each other, and knew what the other one was up to. The bigger cat swallowed the smaller cat, and went back to his owner. When the owner of the smaller cat realized what happened, he got some neighbors with him to go confront the owner of the bigger cat. When they got to this house and knocked on the door, they discovered that the owner of this cat was actually a snake. I’m not exactly sure how it ended, but there are several eye witnesses of the one cat swallowing the other, and no one in Nacaroa (except for me) doubts that this happened. I can’t emphasize enough that people here REALLY BELIEVE THIS SORT OF THING EXISTS, AND ARE LEGITIMATELY WORRIED ABOUT THINGS LIKE THIS HAPPENING TO THEM.

A "wedding"?

I’m the god-mother of the wedding of an already-married man, and I’m not even Christian. Let’s start at the beginning. First, some background information about Mozambique: 1) Teachers get randomly assigned to work in random places throughout the country. The goal is to diversify things, but the reality is that it really just splits up families, and increases infidelity. This same process applies to all government workers, including nurses, doctors, and police. These government workers have one month of vacation per year, which means that they hardly ever get to see their families if they’re sent really far away. 2) In Mozambique you can only legally be married to one person. But no one really bothers getting legally married because it’s expensive and they don’t feel like it. Many people do traditional weddings that are culturally recognized, but hold no legal standing, and other people just start living together and calling each other husband and wife with absolutely no ceremony whatsoever. But socially and culturally speaking, they’re married. This way, when things start going bad you can just leave each other and not have to deal with divorce. Or you can have multiple wives this way, which is more or less socially acceptable. Alright, now on to the story: You remember Nhambe and Isaura from the post about healthcare? Nhambe is from Maputo and got randomly sent here as a teacher. When he came here he left his wife and son back in Maputo, 2500km away, hoping to be able to transfer back soon. When that didn’t happen, the only solution was to find a girlfriend here. Well, Nhambe and Isaura dated for a while, and all was going well. She knew that he was married, but his wife knows nothing about her. But then she got pregnant. According to cultural tradition, that means that he has to present himself to her family, which is more or less saying that you’re married or going to get married. Isaura is from Nampula City, and all her family lives there. Nhambe is from Maputo, and has absolutely no family here in the North. Traditionally at a presentation like this, all of his family should be present, especially his parents, god parents, and the family elders. Since that wasn’t possible given the distance, Sambo and I were his representatives, acting as god parents. (Sambo and Nhambe are socially/culturally brothers since they’re both from Maputo and have no biological family here.) Luckily for me, Nhambe and Sambo don’t speak Macua, so it was all done in Portuguese, which isn’t normal for an event like this. Here’s how the presentation goes: (There is a table with several chairs. On one side are Isaura’s parents, god parents, some siblings, and other relatives. One the other side are Nhambe, Sambo and me. Isaura sits at the head of the table.) Isaura: Good afternoon. My family, I called you hear to present you to the man I managed to get for myself. I’ll let him introduce himself. (Nhambe introduces himself and then her family members come one by one to kiss his cheeks. This is repeated with me and then Sambo.) Isaura: Alright, now I’ll let my family present any questions they have to Nhambe. Father: My first questions is, what do you mean by “the man I managed to get for myself?” What did you get him as? A neighbor, a co-worker, a friend, boyfriend, husband...? (Isaura and Nhambe look uncomfortable and don’t say anything.) Father: What exactly is the relationship between you two? (No answer.) Are you two telling me that you’re married? Isaura: Yeah... Father: Are you sure? Because the way you phrased it didn’t indicate that. Nhambe: Yeah...we’re married...(continues to look uncomfortable)... Father: Ok. (Asks where Nhambe works, lives, is from etc.) So, Nhambe, you said you’re from Maputo. I just want to make sure you didn’t leave another wife there. Did you start to make a family there before you left? Nhambe: (looks very nervous, legs shake uncontrollably) Well, when I left Maputo left my wife there, but now I’m really far away, and the relationship is cooling off, because of the distance and all, so she’s there and I’m here... [side fact: Nhambe’s wife and their son live with his parents.] Father: My daughter, did you know about this? Isaura: Yes, he explained this to me. Father: Ok. At least he’s honest. [side fact: Nhambe’s wife, parents, etc no absolutely nothing about the existence of Isuara and the fact that she’s going to have his baby.] Well, that’s all of my questions. No I’ll let the god-mother ask questions. God Mother: I don’t really have any questions. I just wanted to give my advice, and ask that you both be responsible and communicative in your relationship. The fact that you called us all here today shows that you at least sat down and talked about this, which is a good start...etc...etc...etc. Then Sambo said some words, apologized for not having the elders present, and reinforced that it was because of the distance. Her father suggested a celebration later in the year for which a few direct family members could come to represent his family. Sambo and Nhambe assured him that would be possible, but it definitely won’t be. Then we ate a nice meal, cut the cake, and drank champagne. They are now socially/culturally married. Not once, at any moment, was there mention of love, happiness, or forever.