The story of the Rat and the Foreigner

The story of the Rat and the Foreigner

(Author's note: for best results, picture the events of this story while reading.)

Several months ago a Foreigner came from the Developed World to live in the Developing World. The Foreigner quickly learned to love most things about her new life, but one thing she could not love was Rats. The Local People were confused by the Foreigner’s fear and dislike of Rats; they had long since learned to live in harmony with these small, harmless creatures. Almost all of the Locals had Rats in their houses on a somewhat regular basis, and some enjoying eating them roasted on sticks like shish-ka-bobs.

Sometime, not too long ago, one particular Rat managed to enter into the house of the Foreigner. The Foreigner awoke early one morning, when it was still dark outside, because of unusual noises coming from the shelf in her room. She switched on her flashlight in time to see the shadow of a Rat run out of her room, into the spare bedroom. She quickly shut the door of said bedroom, and summoned her Guard.

Now the Guard was a very nice person and a reliable and trustworthy guard; however, he was a Local. He did not understand the Foreigner’s strange and inexplicable fear of these small, harmless creatures, and thus was often less than persistent in finding and killing them in the Foreigner’s house. His most common response, after minimal searching, was often, “Já fugiu,” meaning, “He got away.” On this particular day, the Guard’s response was no different. The Foreigner tried to convince the Guard to continue searching, but it was of no use; she had no choice but to move on with her day and wait until the Rat appeared again.

That evening when the Foreigner was cooking dinner, the Rat appeared again. She summoned her Guard. The Rat was in the main room when the Guard entered, but with the commotion of movement and shouting he fled to the kitchen. Now what would usually happen in this situation is that the Guard would enter the kitchen with a stick, the Foreigner would stay outside of the kitchen holding the door shut, and the Guard would kill the rat. But on this particular day, the Foreigner inexplicably found herself inside the kitchen with the Rat and the Guard. Even more inexplicably, the foreigner had subconsciously selected a flimsy, orange, plastic dustpan as her weapon of choice.

All trapped in the kitchen, it’s hard to say if the Rat or the Foreigner was more scared. The Rat ran around frantically trying to escape, while the Foreigner performed a series of awkward jumps, trying to avoid allowing the rat to get too close to her feet. These jumps were accompanied by yelps and shrieks of fear, along with swats and flicks of the dustpan. The Guard tried to tell the Foreigner to calm down, but it was of no use. The Foreigner eventually ended up jumping into the door, which opened ever so slightly, allowing the Rat to escape back to the main room. The Foreigner and Guard followed and searched briefly, but the Guard soon announced, “Já fugiu.”

The Foreigner did not sleep well that night, and to her disappointment the Rat did not appear the following evening, leaving her with another night of ratmares. Finally, on the third night, the Foreigner remembered the words of her Wise Father, “Could he be hiding under the stove?” a question he has posed several months prior with the entrance of the First Rat. The foreigner grabbed her flashlight, went to the kitchen, and hesitantly looked under the stove. The Rat was there! She quickly summoned her Guard, making sure to stay outside the kitchen this time, and held the door tightly shut as he entered with a stick. This time the Rat did not get away. The Guard killed it, picked it up by the tail, and removed it from the Foreigner’s house. The Foreigner lived happily ever after, at least until the entrance of the Next Rat.