A "wedding"?

I’m the god-mother of the wedding of an already-married man, and I’m not even Christian. Let’s start at the beginning. First, some background information about Mozambique: 1) Teachers get randomly assigned to work in random places throughout the country. The goal is to diversify things, but the reality is that it really just splits up families, and increases infidelity. This same process applies to all government workers, including nurses, doctors, and police. These government workers have one month of vacation per year, which means that they hardly ever get to see their families if they’re sent really far away. 2) In Mozambique you can only legally be married to one person. But no one really bothers getting legally married because it’s expensive and they don’t feel like it. Many people do traditional weddings that are culturally recognized, but hold no legal standing, and other people just start living together and calling each other husband and wife with absolutely no ceremony whatsoever. But socially and culturally speaking, they’re married. This way, when things start going bad you can just leave each other and not have to deal with divorce. Or you can have multiple wives this way, which is more or less socially acceptable. Alright, now on to the story: You remember Nhambe and Isaura from the post about healthcare? Nhambe is from Maputo and got randomly sent here as a teacher. When he came here he left his wife and son back in Maputo, 2500km away, hoping to be able to transfer back soon. When that didn’t happen, the only solution was to find a girlfriend here. Well, Nhambe and Isaura dated for a while, and all was going well. She knew that he was married, but his wife knows nothing about her. But then she got pregnant. According to cultural tradition, that means that he has to present himself to her family, which is more or less saying that you’re married or going to get married. Isaura is from Nampula City, and all her family lives there. Nhambe is from Maputo, and has absolutely no family here in the North. Traditionally at a presentation like this, all of his family should be present, especially his parents, god parents, and the family elders. Since that wasn’t possible given the distance, Sambo and I were his representatives, acting as god parents. (Sambo and Nhambe are socially/culturally brothers since they’re both from Maputo and have no biological family here.) Luckily for me, Nhambe and Sambo don’t speak Macua, so it was all done in Portuguese, which isn’t normal for an event like this. Here’s how the presentation goes: (There is a table with several chairs. On one side are Isaura’s parents, god parents, some siblings, and other relatives. One the other side are Nhambe, Sambo and me. Isaura sits at the head of the table.) Isaura: Good afternoon. My family, I called you hear to present you to the man I managed to get for myself. I’ll let him introduce himself. (Nhambe introduces himself and then her family members come one by one to kiss his cheeks. This is repeated with me and then Sambo.) Isaura: Alright, now I’ll let my family present any questions they have to Nhambe. Father: My first questions is, what do you mean by “the man I managed to get for myself?” What did you get him as? A neighbor, a co-worker, a friend, boyfriend, husband...? (Isaura and Nhambe look uncomfortable and don’t say anything.) Father: What exactly is the relationship between you two? (No answer.) Are you two telling me that you’re married? Isaura: Yeah... Father: Are you sure? Because the way you phrased it didn’t indicate that. Nhambe: Yeah...we’re married...(continues to look uncomfortable)... Father: Ok. (Asks where Nhambe works, lives, is from etc.) So, Nhambe, you said you’re from Maputo. I just want to make sure you didn’t leave another wife there. Did you start to make a family there before you left? Nhambe: (looks very nervous, legs shake uncontrollably) Well, when I left Maputo left my wife there, but now I’m really far away, and the relationship is cooling off, because of the distance and all, so she’s there and I’m here... [side fact: Nhambe’s wife and their son live with his parents.] Father: My daughter, did you know about this? Isaura: Yes, he explained this to me. Father: Ok. At least he’s honest. [side fact: Nhambe’s wife, parents, etc no absolutely nothing about the existence of Isuara and the fact that she’s going to have his baby.] Well, that’s all of my questions. No I’ll let the god-mother ask questions. God Mother: I don’t really have any questions. I just wanted to give my advice, and ask that you both be responsible and communicative in your relationship. The fact that you called us all here today shows that you at least sat down and talked about this, which is a good start...etc...etc...etc. Then Sambo said some words, apologized for not having the elders present, and reinforced that it was because of the distance. Her father suggested a celebration later in the year for which a few direct family members could come to represent his family. Sambo and Nhambe assured him that would be possible, but it definitely won’t be. Then we ate a nice meal, cut the cake, and drank champagne. They are now socially/culturally married. Not once, at any moment, was there mention of love, happiness, or forever.