Cinderella: An Ungrateful Crybaby

When we read the story of Cinderella in the US, we hear about a poor, mistreated girl who was unjustly forced to do housework, sleep with rats, eat left over food, and wear old, torn clothes after her mother’s death and father’s remarriage. In the US, Cinderella is a fairy tale; something so sad and unfortunate that it could never happen. In Mozambique it is the life that many children are happy to have. Children here, even those with both parents living and married (which is rare), do basically all of the cleaning around the house. This includes washing the clothes and dishes by hand, sweeping the yard, helping to care for younger children, helping cook, going to the market, helping in the fields, and carting water in 20 liter jugs carried on their heads, etc. But many children here don’t grow up in a house with both of their parents. For children who have lost one or both of their parents, or come from poor families, common situations include:
1. One or both parents died. The child is adopted by a neighbor or relative.
2. The father abandoned the mother or denies that the child is his. The mother probably has no money, so A) she sends the child to live with a neighbor or relative OR B) the child has to help a lot in the fields and doesn’t go to school.
3. The parent(s) have no money. They send the child to live with a neighbor or relative.
4. A neighbor or relative wants help around the house or caring for a child so they ask the child’s parents to send the child to come live with them.
5. There isn’t a school near the parents’ house, so they send the child to live with a friend or relative in a larger town.
6. The parents split up and neither one wants the child, so they send it to live with a relative.
7. The parents are young and want to finish school, not get married or start a family, etc, so they send the child to live with a relative.
Notice that almost all of these situations end with the child living with a neighbor/friend/relative, which the child will refer to as aunt or uncle, regardless of biological relationship. These aunts and uncles are then responsible for feeding, clothing, and in general caring for the child. In return, the child must help a lot around the house, in the fields, caring for younger kids, etc, which these children do obediently, respectfully, and without self-pity. They brag about how much water they can carry and debate who’s stronger. They show pride when they can make their nieces and nephews (the kids of the “aunts and uncles” are referred to as nieces and nephews) stop crying or go to sleep. They responsibly hold the money they are given when they are sent to the market, giving their friends glimpses to make them jealous. At mealtime, children are often given a communal pot of food to fight over. It includes the leftovers from the adults, which are usually high in starch and low in vitamins and proteins. Almost all of these kids, and many adults, sleep on reed mats on the floors of houses with rats. In terms of clothes, most children own one school uniform, less than 5 skirts/pants/shorts, about 5 shirts, and one pair of flip-flops. All of these items, except maybe the school uniform, are used and well-worn. And this is life. There isn’t any reason to cry about it, whine about doing work, feel bad for yourself, or expect this to change. And luckily, there’s no fairy god-mother to throw you off with images of dances and princes and beautiful things that will never be yours.